God(s) 9 – The Tea Ceremony 1

This morning I had what could possibly be one of the saddest news of my life.
Out of desperation, I went to class. Once there I remembered that I shouldn’t have gone because the mood of the person preparing tea transfer to the tea. Imagine if because of me those wonderful women could be sick? I wouldn’t have forgiven myself. So I made an effort, as never in my life, to go beyond my pain, to think about happiness, love, serenity, joy, caring for others, gratitude for life, so that I could transfer that to the bowl of tea.

My sensei is one of the kindest and most loving women in the world, with all her formal “Japaneseness”. I was horribly awkward and unskilled in class. She discreetly asked me if I was all right, what had happened. Tears came to my eyes, and I had to tell her. So looking at me with her eyes full of goodness, she hugged me, which is unheard of for Japanese people.

God was in the tearoom today with us.

Principles 18 – Good vs Evil 5 -Power of Three

Why, if the guests are only two, do I need to put three sweets in the tray?

Because in Japan you always put uneven numbers for guests, or give uneven number sets as gifts… uneven numbers cannot be divided.

It is said us humans are body and soul, body and spirit… but then by the logic of the Japanese, that means we can be divided. And in fact some people are–or they think they are–divided.

I believe we have three selves: the body, the mind, and the soul. I believe we are a trinity. Indivisible.

The highest expression of the body is beauty (beauty, indeed, reflects a healthy body). The highest expression of the mind is truth (not intelligence). And the highest expression of the soul is–you guessed it–love.

Stuff I remember

I am so bad at remembering what I read. I remember having read Joyce’s Ulysses— up to a certain page (like everybody else). I vaguely remember having read Dubliners, and I do remember reading Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man due to a couple of anecdotes.

Portrait was translated in Italian as Dedalus, which is the name of the artist, Stephen Dedalus, the main character and subject of the title. Dedalus. A name to remember. Italians like to completely change the titles of books.

Dedalus I remember is a Bildungsroman, that is, a novel that shows the coming of age and coming of wisdom of a young person, who “develops morally and psychologically” (according to the Encyclopaedia Britannica). A Bildungsroman is a Hero’s Journey of sorts.

As I was saying, I remember very little about books. Or other stuff in general. What I remember about the time and circumstance I read Portrait, over 30 years ago, is my Brazilian friend saying: “I’m tired of these Italians translating and Italianizing everything. For instance, I read Dedalus in Italian and it speaks at some point about eating risotto alla milanese. I’m disgusted”. My friend lived in Via Francesco Bacone in Milan, which is to say, Francis Bacon street. You get the point.

To credit the Italian editor, Joyce in his Portrait does indeed mention risotto alla milanese, written exactly like that, I swear.

Love 11 – What if 9

[…] stems from the struggle we all engage in to prove we are worthy of love, to overcome our vulnerability, and to deny our fear. But these are goals that can never be achieved, and indeed, there is no real need to achieve them.

-Alexander Lowen, Fear of Life

It may very well be that the truly grown individual will not care anymore to prove he’s worthy of love, he will not care anymore to overcome his vulnerability, he will not try to deny his fear. It may very well be that that is the true goal, and who knows, he might be able to do this through courage and faith.

What if I could see a person being truly loving, of a love that also includes loving him or herself?

That, in my mind, would definitely be the way in which a human being proves to be worthy of love.

Desiderata 3

May you be able to walk (or, if necessary, run!) away from a battle you cannot win.

May you be able to not look back.

As to the battles you can win: fight to the death.

Love 11 – Happiness 10 – God(s) 8 – What if… 8 – Desiderata 2 – Free Will 2 – Imagination

Use your imagination, be free.

– Patti Smith

Imagination is the most powerful force in the world. When we imagine that we love then love becomes the second most powerful force. 

-Lobsang Rampa, The Third Eye

I was trying to figure something out, something that baffled me, baffled me to the core just like so many of the things going on inside of this world baffle us. It had to do with love (what else?) and specifically, I was struggling to understand why a man who felt real happiness when with a woman would prefer not to be with her(a person that purposefully avoids happiness??).

The struggling to understand carried on for weeks, long weeks ridden with total confusion and sorrow and a sense of hopelessness.

And then it hit me, it hit me like a ton of bricks, like true understanding often does, after you give up trying to understand.

Now you might think, what, did she find the reason why a person purposefully avoids happiness? She found an explanation for this absurd state of things?

Well, yes and no. (Let me say as a side topic that yes, there are people that purposefully avoid happiness, happiness may be scary as it is a game changer, what people think makes them happy varies enormously).

But my main point, the discovery if I may so call it—but hey, Socrates had warned us all along—is that we know nothing. Or, more precisely and frankly put: What the Hell do We Know.

Think about it. Ultimately, nobody could figure out Covid. Nobody can figure out love. Or why some people die just like that and other people recover from illness just like that. We still “don’t know nothin’”.

Okay, please, indulge me. I know, I know, this concept has been so over-worn that it has patches in many more places than just the elbows. And of course it’s not my discovery and I’m not trying to claim ownership of S’s hoc unum scio, me nihil scire. The thing is, one thing is having assimilated a truth in your mind, and one thing is to have it become, suddenly, something that permeates the cells in your bone marrow and goes on to modify the way your bones go about moving in the world.

So we know nothing. And how does that solve things? How does one go about the business of living when one knows nothing?

This takes us to the real epiphany, what complemented S’s discovery, what is, maybe, my own thinking:

Even if you know nothing, act as if love matters, as if God exists, as if life is fair, as if good is better than evil, as if you knew the difference between good and evil, as if it matters to the world that you do good, as if what you most desire will be yours someday.

Why? because we owe it to whomever created sunsets, flowers, babies, smiles, lasagna, the smell of sun-dried linen, the smell of rain in a garden, lake Leman, water on a hot day, hugs, best friends, butterflies, a child’s voice, a child’s gaze of wonder.

On Evolution 9 – Good vs. Evil 4 – Definitions 3 – Shadows 3

Nothing is unholy in itself, nothing is in itself evil. What we call evil is only the directionless plunging and storming of the sparks in need of redemption. It is “passion”—the very same power which, when it has been endowed with direction, the one direction, brings forth the good in truth, the true service, the hallowing. Thus there no longer exist side by side in the soul of man the worldly and the spiritual, qualitatively sundered, there are now only power and direction.

-Martin Buber, The Way of Response

Recently I had an exchange of views with my friend John regarding the death penalty, after he addressed this topic in his brilliant weekly column. He called the death penalty “Homicidal Vengeance”. I mused on his stark choice of words.  My thoughts went towards the foundational motives of the death penalty. The hunger for justice. The hunger for revenge. The fine line between justice and revenge.

In my lifetime I have encountered true evil and malevolence. I have met people who take pleasure in deliberately hurting someone else. I’ve come across people who have hurt me on purpose for no reason other than giving free rein to their desire for destruction. “Hurt people hurt people”, is the general (and true) explanation for this, explanation I fully comprehend.

You may wonder if I have hated these people. Yes, I have. Deeply, too, I admit. Often I have wanted to hurt them in return. Sometimes manifold, I admit. Fortunately for me, my desire to do harm has been confined to my imagination, to the mere fantasy of revenge.

Those fantasies transformed and grew, as I can be very creative in my fabrications.

This could have gone on forever, if one day I hadn’t stopped to ask myself three things:

First, if that were to happen, would I be satisfied?

Second: Would I have felt justice done?

Third: Would I have become like that person?

The answers to those questions were No, No and No. For the last question, the precise answer was: “No–worse”. 

Important as it may be, this was not the crucial part. The epiphany came later, when I realized that every evil man has the potential to redeem himself, even if it may be in the last instances of his life. Even if a man’s atonement were just a moment’s thought of regret towards his deed, the world would instantly become a better place. 

And it is self-evident that a dead man cannot redeem himself.

Blog!

Ten years ago I started Chewingtheglass. Mind you, the anniversary was last April, and it of course slipped my mind. But it’s been going, albeit sometimes on a really thin thread.

What have I learned in ten years? Not to steal from Socrates… but the more I go forward, the more I know that I know nothing. I do believe, though, that I have gotten a little better at chewing.

A little.

I want to thank the handful of readers and followers that have stuck to me along the way. I thank you folks with all my heart. I imagine you as the people who comb the beaches of the world watching out for bottles with messages. The kind of people who believe in serendipity, or simply, the kind of people who believe. Belief is akin to magic. Belief is everything.

And if ever even one of my 237 messages so far has made a tiny bit of a difference in someone’s life, that will certainly be enough for me. It will have been worth it.

Love 10 – Definitions 2 – Free Will

Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”

― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

I had the privilege of experiencing love at first sight.

It was an acknowledgment, a recognition. We realize that the person we just met is not a stranger. Actually, it is more correct to say “love at first hear” because, for me, it is through his voice that love entered me and got under my skin.

It is as if that love has neither beginning nor end. It just exists. What we call the beginning of that special love is only the moment in which we realize that it was there: that recognition, a return to the house that we did not know we had. Once we have seen it there is no going back.

Noticing this love is the act of free will, the decision to see all that goodness and let ourselves be carried away by it. The consequence of that decision is that love becomes a verb, a verb that manifests itself in the body. It invades everything, like the hands that strive to write a poem, to dial the phone, to send a text. It is also found in the hands that prepare a meal, that caress, that fix the tie knot. Love is in eyes that cannot stop looking, in arms that cannot stop embracing, in ears that listen avidly.

The great tragedy is that sometimes a person realizes it with a delay… Sometimes the delay is a lifelong one. Worse still, even if he (or she) has realized it, he might choose another path, because as we all know, none of us are pure. That is, none of us are free of conditioning, fear, prejudice, pride, or evil. Thus by taking that other path, the person commits the sin of wasting a miracle, and therefore in his lifetime will not be endowed again with the magnificent gift of such a love.

Choosing a different path than love is also a betrayal of oneself. And the person who betrays is not the same person that he was before, because the consequence of betrayal is always the corruption of the soul.

Choices 10 – Love 9 – Insanity 7 – What if… 6

A friend writes me:

I too have missed out on a lot by having armour on, being reserved. But we can only handle what we can handle. Some of us are complex. Capable of very deep attachments and know that they can be deeply pleasurable and/or deeply painful. So we are careful. We take off our armour slowly. A steel strip tease? 

So I reply:

I have been thinking lately: yes, we need an armor. But… what if the armor was made of love, instead of steel? How would that look? How would that work? I have a feeling that it would be so counter-intuitive, so outright scary, that it could work. Like an angel that comes down to earth, it would scare us stiff, most people would run away screaming and only the like-minded (or like-souled) would be able to bear it. “Takes one to know one” like the Americans say. Maybe it would be tremendously effective. Love for ourselves, firstly, and then love for the weaknesses of others, which would lead us to understand them and therefore address them properly—maybe even liberate them.

Eckhart Tolle wears a love armor, for instance.

Capable of deep attachments? Make no mistake about it, that is a blessing, not a curse.